From Narva to the Netherlands: a childhood in transition
Tanja, officially Tatjana, was born in 1976 in Narva, a military city in what was then the Soviet Union and is now Estonia. She grew up in a time when borders were closed and identity was something defined by the system. She lived through the Soviet years, but also the momentous shift that followed: the Estonian independence of 1991.
During the famous “For Our Freedom” referendum, more than two million people formed a human chain stretching almost 600 kilometers, from Estonia to Lithuania. “My mother was part of it,” Tanja says proudly. “It even crossed borders.”
Stamps, passports, and the search for identity
Freedom brought new challenges. Estonia began building its own identity, and heritage suddenly became a defining factor. “We were labeled as Russian,” Tanja says. “I received what they called an alien passport. Imagine: you’re born in your own country, but officially you are nothing.”
That document still exists, and her mother still has one. “You pay almost 75 euros for something that tells you you have no nationality.” Because Tanja’s grandfather was Russian, she even had to take an exam to be allowed to keep her Estonian nationality. “Otherwise I would have had to go to Russia,” she says matter-of-factly.
Yet she looks back with nuance. “The Soviet period wasn’t bad for me. My mother worked hard, but we had what we needed.” True discrimination only came after the collapse of the union. She speaks fondly about her childhood: playing outside, adventures, no mobile phones. “We were never at home,” she says with a smile. Now, Estonia is a leader in IT: voting through an app, digital ID cards, life is sometimes easier there than in the Netherlands. Still, she misses the time when children could truly be children.
The choices that shape you
In 1991, Tanja was fifteen, ready to take her next step toward university. But life took a different turn. “I had my son,” she says. She chose her family and responsibility. Her plan to study to become an interpreter had to wait.
When the economic crisis hit and unemployment rose, many Estonians decided to seek opportunities elsewhere. Tanja reached a decisive moment too. “We sat at the table thinking: we want to eat and pay the bills, so something has to change.” She decided to leave for the Netherlands on her own. Her son was 10, her daughter 8. “My son told me: Mom, try it. If it works, we’ll come after you.” The children stayed with their grandmother, and they kept in touch through the internet.